2006-01-18 - 9:33 p.m.
Movies Make Me Sad
I remember, many moons ago, a time when movies were fun. I would hook up with 5 or 6 friends and we would pile into a 1960 something Land Yacht with enough money in our pockets for a pack of smokes and a movie ticket at the Cheap Theater.
Oh the carefree, irresponsible glory of choosing between Action, Comedy or Horror.(The only stoner-approved movie genres for group viewing) We heckled and cheered our way through Pulp Fiction, Terminator 2, Nightmare on Elm Street 75 - Freddy gets a Colostomy Bag, and a boatload of other assorted 90's movies.
Then we would pile back into the car, cruise around till we found a cozy little place to light up, and alternate smoking pot and cigarettes till we ran out of both. The whole time without a care in the world.
I don't think that can happen today. Movies are so stressfull and 'important'
Can you imagine a 16 year old me blissfully following the time honored formula, and walking into 'Syriana" thinking it sounded like there would probably be some cool scenery and a hot Syrian acter, and then stumbling out of the theater 2 hours later, dry mouthed, shaking, stunned and horrified at the sudden emergence of a social conscience? NO! It's BAD! VERY BAD!
My point is this. Even though I have been off the recreational substances for years now, I still enjoy a good, message free movie. But as I drove by the theater today the reader board looked like a giant social agenda.
Please can I please just please get some entertainment please.
And it's not just the movies. It's the actors. I used to be able to enjoy a flick with George Clooney or Mel Gibson or Mat Damon (aka mini-george clooney) or Tom Cruise in it. Now I can't watch their work without viewing it through all their personal shit. How come Actors feel no need to be professional? Just go to work, do you job and go home at night. Why the politics? Movies are not an effective or honest way to promote social change! If I think you're an ass, I don't go see your little propoganda piece, so all you are doing is delivering a very expensive sermon the the choir.
And taking up space in the theater that could be used to show something with aliens, guns and hot Syrian men that is actually entertaining.
Let me put it as simply and offensively as possible.
To all actors: Get in the kitchen. Make me a movie. No one cares about your opinions, just stand there and look pretty.
What's in my CD player: Bill Withers' Greatest Hits
What actor do i think is hot: Steve Zahn. Please Steve continue to keep your mouth shut so I can continue to enjoy your Theater Geek Hottness.